How Do I control My Mac Mini Remotely?

i mean from 50 miles away
to begin with i do not have mobile me
too expensive
i want to screen share but my macbook (With Me at the moment)
is 50 miles away from my apartment
Mac Mini is ON and is AT the apartment
i have the ip address of the mac mini
but have been UNSUCESSFUL so far
do i need to change a setting in the mac mini under System Preferences-->Remote Management to make this possible

ran into two problems
i watched the video-- the First thing he Said was Make sure Screen Sharing is turned On
OK......i went to screen sharing in system preferences, I got a big yellow Yield sign that said screen sharing was in remote management-- it would not let me turn on screen sharing yet in the video He COULD
AND
i opened I chat instead of chat preferences popping up Like in the video a thing that says "JABBER LIST" pops up
now im realy confused............i followed the video but its not working

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