How do I get 1 library to sync between 2 computers?

I have two PCs - 1 Desktop & 1 Laptop running xp pro w/offline folders enabled. I set itunes to consildate all music to the master itunes folder on my desktop and I pointed my laptop itunes to the same folder which is a mapped offline folder on my laptop. The problem is that even though I pointed itunes on each machine to the same library files and folders they still seem to manage themselves seperately even after sycning the files (which I do regularly).
Why is this and why can't I make this work?
Everytime I add content to my laptop the desktop doesn't see the new files (which are in the same folder) until I go back and tell the machine to "add folder to library" again - which takes forever. When I get new music (through itunes or otherwise) and it goes to a folder not in the "sync'd" folder I re-"consolidate" the library and then re-sync the folders but still no joy... What gives with this??? Ohh and "Yes" I am syncing the actual "library files" too. Both computers are authorized to the same itunes account.
I travel with the laptop and don't always have internet access and when I do it's usually not a fast enough connection to remotely connect with the library at home
amd64 venice 3000 (oc'd to 2.2g) Windows XP Pro SB Live! - ipod nano 4g

don't get confused by the color icons - the screen shots where taken on an iTunes 9.x library, but what you want to see in iTunes is this (view from my MBP's iTunes seeing the library on my Mini)
if you then click on the house icon, it will change to this and the shared library will load. at that point, two buttons will appear in the lower right corner of the iTunes window, being settings and import.
now you should be able to import any content from any shared library by selecting the content and clicking on import.
via settings, you can select which newly purchased content is transferred automatically to homeshared libraries
if the icon looks like this , home sharing has not been set up correctly.
in order for home sharing to work:
(a) iTunes on all machines must be authorized for the same iTunes store account
(b) all machines must be on the same network
(c) all machines must have access to the internet.
these reads may prove helpful: one and two

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Csound1 wrote:
PeterBreis0807 wrote:
My take on what is supposed to happen is that the data is stored in Apple's iCloud server no matter how you put it there.
That's correct but your 10.6.8 machine has no way to put it there unless you manually enter it on the website.
That to sync data from iCal and Address Book in Snow Leopard to the iCloud server you must manually register and connect to the iCloud.com website which I have done.
You can't sync from Address Book or iCal in Snow Leopard.
PeterBreis0807 wrote:
My take on what is supposed to happen is that the data is stored in Apple's iCloud server no matter how you put it there.
That to sync data from iCal and Address Book in Snow Leopard to the iCloud server you must manually register and connect to the iCloud.com website which I have done.
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Because data entered on the SL machine never makes it from iCal or AB to iCloud or from iCloud to AB or iCal, the link breaks there.. You can use a 3rd party app (Soho) and use it instead of AB and iCal.
But the problem exists on ML as well.
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What you are seeing is probably from SL account which I use 95% of the time. Particularly my Address Book entries. I hardly entered any of those in ML, they virtually all come from SL and seem to have transferred previously. Possibly before the latest iOS updates, but I can't swear to that as I didn't check before/after.
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