How do i get music onto my iphone 5 from iTunes on my mac??

I am losing the will to live trying to do what I thought would be a straightforward task. It certainly used to be?!?! Copy my music on Itunes from my Mac to new iPhone5.
When I connect iPhone 5 to Mac via usb, automatically shows my iPhone5 device on Iphoto, then when I close Iphoto and open Itunes the device isn't anywhere to be seen. I've read a few other articles/solutions that mention about ctrl S or option command s but that produces the classic apple "thud" response. Rapdily losing my faith in Apple to be honest. I have (I think) downloaded the most up to date iTunes and iOS but everything is now a total mess and not intuitive at all. I am not a techno geek so please, please can someone help using plain English. 

See this troubleshooting article:
http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1591

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