How do I keep my husbands apps from appearing on my device? While at the same time sharing content so we don't have to pay twice for music and apps?

How do I prevent my spouse's apps from appearing on my device, and visa versa while at the same time sharing music and apps so that we don't have to pay twice?

Okay.  Your personal iCloud account really isn't involved here.   If apps purchased on another person's device are automatically downloading to your device, it's because you have Apps turned on under Automatic Downloads in Settings>iTunes & App Store.  If you turn it off, the downloads will stop.  If desired, also turn off Music and Books to prevent these from automatically appearing on your device when purchased by someone else.
You can then control which of these, if any, you download to your device by selectively download them from your purchased list as explained here: http://support.apple.com/kb/HT2519.  As long as everyone is sharing the same Apple ID for their purchases, they will all appear on this list.
As far a music organization, you should be sure all your music is in your iTunes library on your computer.  You can then create the playlists you want and sync them to your device using iTunes.

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