How do I send a text to a group that I have in contacts?

How do I send a text to a group that I have already in contacts?

It sounds like your spouse's phone number got attached to your family's Apple ID. Your boys are signed in under Settings>Messages and probably Settings>FaceTime on their devices. There are a few ways to fix this:
1.) If your boys have their own Apple ID(s), just go into Settings>Messages on each of their devices, sign out of your Apple ID, then sign into their Apple ID. You can create a new Apple ID for each of them (as long as they are 13 or older) straight from the device or by going to https://appleid.apple.com
2.) Instead of using separate IDs, you can add an email address for each of the boys to your spouse's current Apple ID that they use to send/receive their own iMessages. From your spouse or boys' device(s), access Settings>Messages>Send & Receive>Add Another Email... Once you have added any email(s) needed, you can then access the Settings>Messages>Send&Receive menu from each of your boys' devices. The address you added for each boy should be the only thing checked under "You can be reached by iMessage at:" and "Start new conversations from." If either or both of your boys have iPhones, they may also have their phone # checked under each section. That's fine, as the main idea is to make sure that none of you or your spouse's info is selected in these screens.
3.) Simplest of all: if your boys don't need to use iMessage, you can just logout from the Apple ID in Settings>Messages and turn off iMessage. If they have iPhones, your boys will still be able to send/receive SMS and MMS messages thru their carrier plan, but will not use iMessage at all. Alternately, if they do have iPhones, you could just sign out of the ID, and leave iMessage on, which would allow them to send/receive iMessages and SMS/MMS thru just their phone numbers.
I would also recommend taking a look at http://support.apple.com/kb/TS2755 for assistance in troubleshooting Messages and http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5538 for an overview of the linking of cell numbers to iMessage.

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