How do I separate my iPhone from our computer's iTunes? Leave music behind.

My wife and I have shared our home computer for years. The iTunes library has been used by her for her music collection. She has also used iCal and Address Book for her contacts.
A year ago I bought an iPhone and have been using iTunes to sync all the apps and stuff. BUT I have never synched to iCal, Music Lib, Address Book etc. I just use it to back-up my phone.
I have set up a new user on our computer for myself, I want to use the new user account for my iPhone. So, I need to get the Apps, Notes and Contacts moved to the new account, but leaving the music and everything else behind.
How do I do this?
I've tried looking at authorising and de-authorising, but I don't know what I'm doing and don't want to lose any music, apps etc. I tried authorising the phone on the new user account but I get a message saying that the phone is already authorised to this computer...
iPhone is a 3GS on 4.2.1

The info provided is somewhat conflicting. You indicated you haven't synced music, only apps.
If there is any music on your iPhone, was the music purchased on your iPhone with your wife's iTunes account? Or if you have your own iTunes account, was the music on your iPhone purchased with your iTunes account? And if you have your own iTunes account, how about the apps?
If you plan on using your wife's iTunes account which was used for all apps and music on your iPhone downloaded from the iTunes store, you need to authorize iTunes with the same iTunes account under your computer login account.
With your iPhone connected to iTunes under your computer login account, at the iTunes menu bar go to File and select Transfer Purchases From - the name of your iPhone.
Before syncing contacts with the Address Book and calendar events with iCal under your computer login account, enter one contact in the Address Book and one calendar event in iCal under your computer login account. This will provide a merge prompt with the first sync for this data, which you want to select.
Syncing notes is with the Mail.app, which is selected under the Info tab for your iPhone sync preferences.

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