How do I set iTunes to manually update songs without connecting iPod first?

Hi. I just got a new computer and downloaded iTunes. The User Guide says that when you connect the iPod, iTunes automatically updates all songs in your iTunes and deletes songs that are not in iTunes. As far as I can see by reading the User's Guide, iPod has to be connected to change the setting to "manual update". I already have an iPod with songs in it that are not on the iTunes that I just downloaded. I'm afraid that if I connect my iPod, it will erase the songs already in my iPod because of the default "automatic update" setting. Does anyone know how I can change the setting to "manual update" BEFORE I connect the iPod to the computer?
Thanks for your help!
Phil Hess

there are some other ways, please read if you are interested
http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?messageID=1345931&#1345931

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Setting iTunes to manually update songs

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http://discussions.apple.com/message.jspa?messageID=797432#797432
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How do I set iTunes to manually update songs without connecting iPod first?

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