How do I stop my iphone from deleting emails from the server and visa versa

I have the iphone 4, recently my phone started sending email info to the server. Meaning it deletes emails from my hotmail account if I delete them off my phone and visa versa. I know there is a setting under advanced setting, I don't have that button. I showed someone in the apple store and she said it was a software issue and to wipe my phone and back it up from my back up, this didn't help anything, neither did re setting the settings. I don't even have the spot in the settings where I can put in the pop3 information. This is a new thing my phone started doing and I don't understand why I don't have the same setting buttons as everyone else. Any advice? The only other thing I can think is wiping my phone and starting over but I don't want to lose the data in my aps
I'm on the newest software version, this started happening just before I did that update.

POP3 settings won't appear if an IMAP service can be found. Basically, you're going to have to set up the account with bogus information so that the phone can't find the server by itself. Then, when it can't, you'll be presented with the advanced settings where you can set it up as POP3 and enter the settings you want to use.
POP3 is considered pretty much obsolete these days. The whole point of IMAP is to allow you replicate the server based mail store completely so that all information is available across all of your devices. If you don't want things crowding your in-box, but don't want to delete it entirely, why not just set up folders and move things where you want them to be once you read them?

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