How do I stop syncing automatically across devices?

It seems Apple has decided I want to share everything on my iPhone with every other iDevice on my account.  Safari bookmarks, texts, phone calls, contacts, play lists, etc. automatically.  I don't!  I've rooted through setting to the seventeen different places I need to turn off sharing to stop this yet it still happens.  Last week, my wife ended up with my playlists on her Mini.  She deleted them and this is where it gets frustrating.
It deleted all the playlists from her Mini, my iPhone, my Mini and iTunes.  I had to restore them from a back up.  Then I saw my Safari bookmarks on her phone and figured she doesn't want those so I deleted them.  It deleted them from all devices.    How do I stop this?  Do I need to get my wife a separate account?  We share an account including the music, apps and movies we buy but we don't want to share everything!  I want my own contacts, booksmarks and playlists and she want's her's.  What is this sharing madness and how do I stop it?

Hi there dnunes75,
You may find the information in the article below helpful.
iTunes: Syncing photos
http://support.apple.com/kb/ht4236
-Griff W. 

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