How do I sync an iPhone 4 and iPhone 5 contact list on my iMac and keep the contact lists separate?

I am going crazy. I have an iPhone 4 and my husband an iPhone 5. When our devices are synced to iTunes, our contact lists are merged.
I've previously set up a separate user account for each of us and we both have separate apple id's. I even tried setting up a new library for him but it keeps reverting back to my contact list on his phone etc.
How can I sync our contact lists and keep these details separately? He has work numbers in my phone and I have mine in his. Its driving me nuts deleting the numbers we don't use on each others phone!
Please help me! Thank you.
Cheers

Apple refuses to answer this question ... very impolite, unprofessional and unfriendly to customers

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