How does my entire family share one account?

I have a wife and 2 kids. How can we all share the same library on our iPhones and iPads without having to share the exact same songs, apps., etc..  For example, if my son downloads a song, I want it to go into the "main" library, but I don't necessarily want it on my iPhone.  If I take a picture with my iPhone, I want it to go to my iPad using cloud, bit I don't want it to go to my other family members' and vice versa? Same with my songs, apps, etc.  Please help.

Welcome to the Apple Community.
Firstly iCloud and iTunes are different services, if you each have your own iCloud account you won't get each others mail, calendars and Photostream photos etc.
Even though you each have a separate iCloud account, there is no reason you can't all share an iTunes account. You can each have your own settings for syncing with iTunes on the computer, so you can have exactly what you want on each device. To stop new purchases made on one device going to another, turn off automatic downloads on each device from settings > store > automatic downloads.

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