How get permission / password to access Mac on network?

I have an iMac and an iBook connected to a single wireless network. Both computers access the internet just fine; both use a printer on the same network. (Printer is not wireless; it's connected to the iMac.)
I'm trying to take the networking to the next level -- specifically, I want to sync Quicken files on the two computers using QuickSync.
I'm stuck at a very basic level, though. When I click on the icon for network, the name of the laptop comes up. (It's basically my wife's computer, so her name appears.) I click on the icon of that "server" and the name of my computer appears and I am asked to type in a password, to gain access.
What password am I supposed to enter? My own administrative password doesn't work. Her administrative password doesn't work. I don't see any explanation in "Help" as to how one adds another person to a list of people who can access your computer. What am I doing wrong?

Before I go this alternate route, I'd like to be able to figure out the basic Apple file-sharing routine. This is supposed to be a basic, simple feature of networked Macs, right?
I've now got Appletalk enabled on both computers. They are using the same network. Yet when I put files into the "public" or "drop box" of one computer, they do not appear in the public or drop box folder of the other.
Moreover -- this may be separate from the Appletalk issue-- when I click on Network and request permission to access the "other" computer (in whichever direction), I am asked for a password. It rejects every relevant password I can think of.
Can anyone else help me out with this? There must be something simple I'm doing wrong. My ultimate goal (syncing Quicken via Quicksync) is a slightly complex operation. But I'm stuck at Apple 101 -- sharing files over two apples linked in a home network. That's supposed to be easy.
imac 15 / ibook g3 12 Mac OS X (10.3.9)
imac 15 / ibook g3 12

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