How to connect to an other computer through the internet

Please who can help me with Desktop Remote control and connecting through the internet. I know a lot is written about it, but it is still confusing.
So try to explain my situation:
I have an MacBook pro with Desktop Remote Control 3
The other computer:
Apple PowerBook which is connected through and Thomson Speedtouch (wireless 716)
External IP address xx.xx.xx.xx
Internal IP address 192.168.1.66
No firewalls
My questions:
How do I check if my Thomson Speedtouch the ports 5900 and 32?? are open?
How can I open the ports on the router? Do I have to open the port on the router?
Then on the MacBook Pro, I start up ARD3
How do I scan for the computer on Internet? Do I use the external IP address?
How can I then connect to the Apple PowerBook? I cannot fill in the second internal IP address or do I?
I hope someone can help me.
If more info is needed, please ask me.
Thank you....
Hans

Neil thank you for your answer.
I opened Network Utility. Went to the last Tab "Port Scan"
I typed in: external IP address (i got this through the Widget SysStat which shows external IP)
Than I gave up scan between the ports 5890 - 5910 to check if those ports are open or not. I had to way for a moment, and then the result was: "Port Scan has completed....."
Ok, what do I know know? The ports are open or not?
So please can someone help me with the following:
1) What should the result show me from Network utility?
2) Opening the port, this has to be done on the Router or is it something the Internet Service Provider needs to do?
3) I still have the question: how can I open the port, so with what application.
4) What are the exact ports which needs to be open?
5) About bridging in the router, does that have a special name. I didn't see in the router configuration program an option like that? When searching --> this is configured: A. Router-modem (NAT/PAT) - is there something special with NAT/PAT?
Hope someone can help me with a few of my questions.
Thanks

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