How to do manual iPad update???

My in-laws are fully dependent on their iPad to the point that the laptop they own very rarely gets turned on. This causes a separate issue to the one raised in this post in that when I visited them last week their iPad had not been backed up and synced for around 6 months because they had not plugged it in.
WHilst visiting them I upgraded their laptop to the latest iTunes version and also made sure all their apps were up to date (usual maintenance stuff). At the time I also noticed that their iPad was still running iOS 3, so I decided to try to upgrade to the latest iOS version (4.3.5). I explained to them about the upgrade and they said that this explained why things in the "how to use your iPad" book they bought a few months ago did not work (i.e. folders, multi-tasking, cut and paste). This is when the problems started.
The laptop they own is very old and very slow. When plugging the iPad into the laptop, starting up iTunes and selecting to Upgrade the iPad, iTunes starts to download the iOS update. The download itself would take just over an hour. At the end of the download iTunes states it is processing the file. It stays in this state for several minutes, with lots of disk activity, before eventually coming up with the message that the connection with the iTunes server has timed out and aborts the upgrade.
I tried the upgrade 5 times and each time was the same result. The download completes and then I get the timeout message after several minutes of "processing the file".
I suspect that the problem is due to the laptop being so slow. It just cannot process the file quickly enough before the connection to iTunes times out.
I would like to be able to download the iOS update separately and then manually initiate it from iTunes (i.e. alt-click on Check for update button). The downloads page just says that the download is only available from iTunes. Is there any way I can manually do the upgrade? Where can I find a download link to get the update outside of iTunes?
Does anyone have suggestions on how I can update this iPad?
Thanks.

You can download the iOS manually, but you're still going to need iTunes to install it on their iPad. Here is a link that explains: http://osxdaily.com/2010/12/09/download-ios-updates-without-itunes/

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