How to manually transfer songs from iMac to iphone

Hoping someone can help. I have a macbook air, an imac and an iphone. The imac has my main music library, simply made up from my own CDs uploaded into it and individual songs and albums purchased off itunes. I simply want to be able to move songs and albums between the 3 devices and so far have not been able to do this. This is extremely frustrating as not only have I bought and paid for all of the music (itunes have done especially well out of me!), but these are expensive and sophisticated devices and yet they will not let me listen to my own music on them!
So to keep it simple, here is what I would really appreciate some help with. Currently my iphone is synced with my macbook air and therefore has some of the macbook air itunes library on it. The iphone will not accept any songs from the imac, purchased or downloaded form my CDs and I cannot delete the songs on the iphone that I don't want. They keep popping back up when I do manage to delete them, then have to be downloaded again just so I can delete them again! So ideally I would like to wipe all of the music off my iphone and start again. And starting again I would like to simply be able to upload my own CDs from the imac in my itunes library on the imac onto the phone, and to upload songs and albums downloaded from itunes on the imac, onto the iphone.
Despite my furstration up until now I have been a big fan of apple products, but not being able to manage my own music on my own devices in a simple and uaser freindly amnner is driving me crazy! The intelligent and intuitive navigation and functionality that apple has built its reputation on completely falls down when it comes to itunes and music, for me at least and to add insult to injury they are making a fortune off people like me on itunes!
Any help gratefully received.

Using iPhone, iPad, or iPod with multiple computers - http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1202 - You can manage your iPhone, iPad, or iPod with multiple computers as long as you have set the device to "Manually manage music."  -  E.g., adding music from a second computer to an i-device. Additional information about switching sync mode - https://discussions.apple.com/thread/4435531 and manually adding in iTunes 11 https://discussions.apple.com/thread/4597408
Managing content manually on iPhone, iPad, and iPod - http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1535

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