How to set up imessage on multiple devices?

It used to be simple: imessages showed up on all your devices. It seems that Apple wanted to make it more flexible, you can specify which addresses to use for which device. Now it is not the usual Apple user-friendly.
I have four Apple devices, and my wife has two. What I want is that any message I send from one of my four Apple devices show up on both her Apple devices, and vica versa. Right now, I never know where a message may show up. If I send a message from my iMac, it may go to her iPhone, but not her iPad, and her reply comes back to my iMac, but does not show up on my iPhone. I have added all email addresses to all devices, to no avail. The other day I used half an hour experimenting with her iphone, and finally managed to make messages from my iPad show up on her iPhone, by playing around with different settings. But I did not manage to make messages from my iPad show up on her iPad. This is not the way Apple is supposed to be.
So, my question: is there a simple way to completely synchronize all my four Apple devices so they show the same messages? As mentioned, I have already added all email addresses to all devices, so the settings should be the same (BUT: it used to be possible to add an iPhone phone number as an 'email' address to a non iPhone device. No longer it seems).

I would say to check this support document http://support.apple.com/kb/TS2755 about troubleshooting messages, this one addresses the iCloud account overall http://support.apple.com/kb/HT4436 and this one has to do with activations of iMessage http://support.apple.com/kb/TS4268. You might need to remove the iCloud account from one of the devices you are having difficulty with and re-establish it.

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