How to setup iMessage correctly to avoid double replys

Hi there.
I have just installed Mountain Lion on my macbook air. I also have an iPhone.
I now have connected my account with iMessage on the macbook.
I am using the same account on my iPhone. So far so good.
I then start a chat in iMessage from my macbook. As sson as I get a reply from the
person I am chatting with I receive 2 replys. One in the iMessage center on the macbook
and at the same time I am receiving the same message on my iPhone.
That is pretty annoying. Is ther a way how I can get rid of this problem?
Looking forward to your answers.
BR
Gerhard

I'll describe how it works for me.
I have two email addresses assigned to each device (except the iPhone 4s as it also has a phone #). One is device specific and one is group specific.
Sending to group from any of the devices will cause the sent message to appear on all devices. If the responding device has 'group' as its caller ID then responses to it from the original sender will also go to all devices. If the caller ID of the responding device is specific to that device then replies to the responding device from the original sender will go only to that specific device.
So, if you wish all devices to be able to participate in all conversations then the caller ID of all devices must be set to the group email. If you wish to use the group address to send to all devices initially but want to continue the conversation with only the responding device then the responding device must have a device specific email as its caller ID.
IOW all devices with an email address that is 'sent to' will receive the transmission. A responding device responds only to the caller ID of the sending device.
This is exactly how I expect it to work and exactly how it works for all of my devices. In Messages for iMac and iPad one can easily see this as the caller ID of the responding device is displayed. It isn't so simple on the iPhone for if the caller ID of the responding device is not the same as the address originally sent to then a new conversation is started and one must physically switch to that conversation to continue.

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Message was edited by: dietmar
Message was edited by: dietmar

Dear MrHoffman
Thank you for your answer. It looks like in your answer is everything I need to now. But as I'm not a professional I only understand your recommendations partially. Here are my thoughts about it:
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I do have a external static IP: 80.xxx.xxx.222 and DNS domain: miniserver.example.com which both gets me to my firewall (within the linksys router). So I think I've got this part right?
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Setting up DNS on the Macmini Server for my local LAN will be my next task, but as this would be a to long post I would like to ask you in a extra post about this. As I understand from your answer, I do server public DNS at the moment, also I did not intend this !!!
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My linksys router supports VPN-Passthrough and server-admin has the VPN-Service. Will this two do what you are recommanding me. I know I have to read into VPN first, before digging questions into others.
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As written before, Local-DNS is the next thing to do/learn for me. But I have to leave for now to support a friend with his Mac thank you for your answers
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here are my screenshot when setting up the mac osx server:
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http://dl.dropbox.com/u/427417/Hostname.jpg
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