How to share iTunes with my wife ? (i'm a noob)

Hello all.
i'm a noob in Mac world and iTunes also (i'm coming from PC world so...) so sorry in advance if i don't use the correct Mac vocabulary...
So here is my problem:
my wife and i share a Mac Pro.
we also share one iTunes.
Let's say that  our whole music list represents 100 songs.
40 songs are "her list"
40 songs are mine
20 songs are shared
How to configure iTunes to manage such a situation please ?
Note: last week, i created 2 iTunes librairy: one for her (name: VRN), one for me (name: VV). In her iTunes librairy, i've put only her songs. Same thing in mine. Until today, everything seems to work correctly BUT:
1. with this setting, i don't how to manage share songs.
2. today, when i try to listen my music, i have this msg: "iTunes can find the original file...do you want to look for it ? " i don't know why !!!
Thanks for you help

You can authorize her computer to play your music, then sync the music to her iPhone as she does any other music.

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