How to sync iPhone 4 & 4S after new Mac hard drive installed?

The hard drive on our Mac crashed recently.  After we had it replaced, we can't load new music from iTunes to either my iPhone 4 or to my wife's iPhone 4S.  What do I need to do to get this to work?
Also, we had issues before syncing 2 iPhones to 1 computer - combined contacts, resulting in duplications and my apps showing up on her phone.  Any suggestions to avoid this from happening again?

No computer backup which should include your iTunes library, photos, documents, and any other important data?
When you say you can't load new music on either iPhone, this should mean you are getting a warning message that all iTunes content on the iPhones will be erased first?
Each iOS device synced with iTunes has its own sync preferences with iTunes. If you were syncing contacts with the same Address Book with each iPhone, contacts will be synced between both iPhones and the Address Book.
If the same apps are selected under the Apps tab for the iPhone sync preferences with each iPhone, the same apps will be transferred to each iPhone. Each device has its own sync preferences with iTunes.
If you are sharing the same iCloud account on each iPhone with contacts turned on for over the air syncing with the iCloud account settings on each iPhone, contacts will be synced between the two iPhones.
If you are sharing the same iTunes account or Apple ID on each iPhone, there are settings at Settings > iTunes & App Store under Automatic Downloads to automatically download music, apps, books, and app updates downloaded with another OS device sharing the same Apple ID for iTunes and App Store purchases/downloads. 

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