How to sync iPhone 4 and iTunes 11?

Yesterday I've made lots of app updates (of my iPhone apps), and I've also downloaded an app, everything via iTunes 11. Now, I want to sync them to my iPhone 4. That's it.
However, iTunes doesn't seem to detect my iPhone. I've read on posts and threads that I should click the 'iPhone' button on the top-right corner, but I don't see it. I tried closing and re opening iTunes as well as turning off and on my iPhone and nothing. In the iPhone it says it's charging so I guess the cable is correctly attached.
I've been struggling for hours, and I can't find a way to access my iPhone from iTunes. I tried logging in and out with my two accounts. There's that item File -> Devices on the main menu, but all the options there, including 'Sync', are grayed-out. I pressed  cmd+opt+S to see the sidebar, but it doesn't show my iPhone there. If I click on Apps, on the sidebar, I see the list of all m apps, all up to date, but there's no 'Sync' button at the bottom, just a 'Get More Apps' button.
I've been trying a lot of things unsuccessfully, often ending on the app store facing a bunch of crap and ads like they're begging me to buy stuff.
Please, why does it have to be so complicated?
Why does Apple has to make me feel like a ********, both because I can't complete such a simple task and because I'm constantly assailed with ads forcing me to buy things that I have no interest?
That's overwhelmingly pathetic, it makes me want to wacth TV, seriously.
Any help will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

After upgrading i06 on iphone 4 and Itunes 11 on pc
Does anyone know how to solve why the apps sync starts installing apps on the IPhone, blue bar gets to mid point for each app (even 1 app) then hangs i.e. fully clears the blue bar as if it hasn't started. Occurs on cable connection and Wifi sync.
This then stops you from installing any apps as the hung app shows installing but not doing anything.
Installing new apps is fine however.
cheers

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