HP Pavilion Laptop; Only Special Function Keys are Working

Question

I got my first HP laptop, a HP Pavilion 17-e049wm Notebook, refurbished a few months ago when my original quit out. Until recently, I've been more than happy with its performance. However, a few weeks ago the keyboard started acting both weird and also not working. I'll try to provide as much information as I can, and thank you in advance for your assistance!
Circumstances before the event:
-The night before, my keyboard worked one hundred percent fine. I played some games and went to sleep with it closed and hibernating like I always have. The next morning, I took it up with me to play music as I showered. Before I'm accused of water-damaging it, my laptop was very far from shower, so no direct water contact occured, and also we shower with the door open, so there was no build up of steam or humidity that could've done it that couldn't be present in any other situation. I knew that it worked that morning, as I must have logged in to play my music. After closing it and bringing it to my car (without drops or any other jarring), I learned a few hours later that my keyboard had stopped working. 
-My house doesn't have internet and I havn't recently installed anything, so it's doubtful that some kind of software did it to me.
What the keyboard does(n't do): 
-Almost every key doesn't work. The letters, esc, enter, shifts, fn, numberpad, caps lock, etc. I've tried them each, and none work.
-There are two exclusions to the above statement:
     -The 'special' function keys; All of the keys that share space with my function keys work fine. So my mute, pause, change display, brightness controls, help shortcut, airplane mode, etc. work. So everything from F1 to F12 work.
          -Before anyone assumes that my fn key is stuck or something, the special part is the default. On my keyboard, you hold down the fn key to do the normal fn key functions (f11 skips to the next song, fn+f11 does fullsrceen).
          -Also, I'm not sure if my 'normal' functions work. I tried holding fn on this USB keyboard and then the f# keys, but the 'special' function still is the one that works. However, as I have no control, I don't know if that would have happened anyways.
     -The second exception, which makes me doubt that it is a hardware problem, is that if I hold 'X' and 'C' at the same time, the brightness lowers, as if I tapped my f2 key. Each of those do nothing on their own, but when pushed together, they act identical to the f2.
-Another thing is that my ported keyboard's caps lock indicator light still shines when either the USB or on-screen's caps lock keys are used.
What I've tried:
-Turn it off and back on
-Turn it off, take out battery, hold the power button, wait, turn on with/without battery
-Uninstall keyboard driver, restart
-Summoning a demon 
-Tried to update driver (can't, up-to-date)
-Check status through device manager (claims that it's running fine)
I've basically tried everything I could find that seemed relatively useful from browsing the forums, but it's on my third week keyboardless, nothing works, and I'm so tired of using my girlfriends pretty, sparkling and bedazzled, purple USB keyboard from her days in middle school. If nothing works, I'll have to resort to the system resets and lose applications and my files, which would be a mad bummer yo.
Thank you again for your help, internet. 

Answer 1

@cbowman08 ,
Hello and thank you so much for posting on the HP support forums. Now please I am not stating you have done anything wrong in any way.  This kind of thing happens all the time. 
You do not need a bunch of steam to cause an issue with water for one thing.  
Inside your notebook is a huge differential in temperature zones.  If you take a notebook into a shower room even if your water is slightly above room temp there is ample moisture in the air. 
Air has to travel and if your notebook was on the counter and it is between your shower and the door, any moisture in the air gets to get heated way up and then gets to cool way down and gather on the little metal bits in your notebook.  
It only takes one drop of water the size of a pin head to bridge a connection and cause a short.
I hope this is not the case.  I am hoping that the connection cable for your keyboard has come loose.
So to see if this is just a loose connection instead of a bit of moisture causing the issue here is a link to your maintenance guide,
Maintenance and Service Guide
This will show you have to get your system apart to check they keyboard connection.
As well here is a link to how to gain access to the keyboard and its connection.
HP Pavilion 17 Replace Keyboard HDD SSD Ram New Model Laptop.
Check to make sure the keyboard cable didnt just come loose.  Very easy fix.  If it is connected and nothing is loose then you are looking at a replacement keyboard or if the board did get some moisture on it from condensation then you will need to have it sent in for repair.
If that is the case you will want to contact phone support for repair options.
Please call our technical support at 800-474-6836. If you live outside the US/Canada Region, please click the link below to get the support number for your region. http://www8.hp.com/us/en/contact-hp/ww-phone-assist.html
I am hoping for the keyboard connection coming loose here.
Have a great day and thank you again for posting let me know how it goes.
Please click the "Thumbs Up" on the bottom right of this post to say thank you if you appreciate the support I provide!
Also be sure to mark my post as “Accept as Solution" if you feel my post solved your issue, it will help others who face the same challenge find the same solution.
D5GR
I work on behalf of HP