HT1386 How can I sync itunes songs onto my iphone? Using ios 6.1.3 and itunes 11.0.4.4

When I connect my iphone to itunes (USB) I am prompted to set up new iphone, or restore from back-up. I've already restored from back-up. I can't sync or manage my iphone with itunes now.
Background info: I have recently been forced to update the operating system on my iphone - the contact, pictures and most apps restored just fine. But I cannot copy the music back onto my iphone. When I plug in the phone to sync with itunes I am now prompted to set up a new phone or restore from back up. I have already restored from back up and don't need these options any more.
The syncing instructions I read show screen shots of itunes that I can no longer get to. Any syncing options I can find are greyed out and unusable.
How can I place music onto my iphone?

I appreciate your comment however, I sold my iPhone 4 and therefore cannot see how it synched before. What I do know is that I was not using the iCloud with the iPhone 4 and when Ireceived the iPhone 5 in the mail, I took it to the local Apple Store for some user education... The person in the store set this up.
I have been an iphone user since the first phone was selling. I love the product and this issue is troublesome to me.
I do wish that this problem would have been brought to my attention prior to purchasing. I waited weeks for delivery of the phone and thought I was advancing into the the future, not reversing in time.
Looks like I have to re-create about 300 notes by hand!  UGH!

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