HT1386 Since iTunes upgrade, sync no longer puts my contacts into my groups

Since my recent ITunes upgrade, IPhone sync no longer puts my contacts into my groups, even though I use the checked off groups option. The groups show up but do not contain any contacts.
I even deleted all the contacts on my IPhone and started out fresh and resynced. Nada.

Well, I can see a potential problem with that, although you must have made it work before.
I had a set up on a Windows computer like that, but the iTunes accounts couldn't communicate or share content.  We consolidated, after much fuss, to one Library, one location. 
This may be why your daughter has problems connecting to the iTunes store.  The "server" is serving 2 accounts.
I am sure it is why the books didn't sync and can't be found on her iTunes account.  If you look on her iTunes on the computer, are the book titles pale gray?  is there an ! point on them?   This means that while the computer knows they were there, they can't connect with the actual content.   After all they can't be in two places at once.   iTunes can sometimes offer to "rebuild the path" to lost files, I don't know it that would work here.
As for why they come and go from your device, I can only guess it is because they are not iTunes purchases.  Just like my PDFs, iTunes tolerates them, but really doesn't know what they are, or what to do with them, so it does nothing. (unless you make it!)  Not that iTunes treated the iBooks I did get from iTunes any better.
As I posted above, the only way I could get it to work was to delete stuff, which seemed to shock iBooks into syncing the books and PDFs.  Maybe, finish the book you are reading, delete all then add new books?  (Sorry,it's all I got)
If you are going to share content, one iTunes Library, but separate Apple IDs would work better.  But that is up to you (I'm also a parent, I get it)  I share with my 2 sons.
You mentioned a Kindle.  I have one.  Never use it, but it is an older one.  The paperwhite seems like a good idea.  It is absolutely impossible to transfer PDFs to the kindle in a print size big enough to read unless it's
24 pt type going in.  Didn't work for me, might work for you.

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