HT2534 Many devices with one apple ID between husband and wife....HOW!?

So, when my wife and I are both using separate iPads, how do we NOT get all these messages intended for the other person? One Apple ID for .... four products (Each have an ipad and ipod) makes it hectic enough. Now it's a nightmare figuring what to do. went into settings and changed HER imessages to her email address and I'm not getting anything and she's getting all of them. SO, now my devices won't recieve imessages etc. etc.
Hope someon knows how to do this so I don't have to purchase a whole lot of more itunes crap again just because I'm not smart enough to figure out how to use a different apple id and keep my music.
Oh, and that's it, the music and apps. We couldn't care less about most of the apps since I'm the only one BUYING them and she uses almost all free ones, but the MUSIC IS ALL ON ITUNES! Do I need to backup the entire library onto a bunch of disks and then "relicense" them from myself? How much work could THAT possibly be worth? Gotta be a simple solution. Never had so many apple products and these are my wife's first.
HELP!!!!!!!!!!

We're screwwwwwed! Not THAT familiar to apple, just barely plugging along and dove in with two ipads and two ipod touches. Previous experience was just two ipods (160 GB) that I had to still rotate audio books out of every few months... well, for me. My wife doesn't use hers as much. ANYWAY, I lost a zillion things with the ipod classic since it didn't have a back-up option and many of the CDs I scrounged up when it first came out were already lucky to have survived college. 8 years later and the computer that had the original files had been replaced umpteen times. ipods failed and decided to quit being a tight wad. Not sure if these gifts are worth it yet.... well, two of them were.

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