HT3819 HeLP! On hold with Apple for ONE HOUR!!!

We have apple TV, ipad, 2 iphones, an imac & mac laptop -- all i want to know is how to STOP the programs from Apple TV auto downloading on my other devices - thats all - should be super easy.
I turned on home sharing
I want the music to share across all devices
I DO NOT want entire seasons of TV shows to take up storage on other devices unless I choose it file by file
TOOK 3 phone calls - first two I am no hold and apple send me an email saying they couldnt reach me (WHILE i am on hold!!)
Third phone call talked to a rep, she transferred me to some "Expert" - and now on hol AGAIN for alomost 20 minutes
I HOPE YOU ARE READING THIS, APPLE SUPPORT. ( Which I am PAYING FOR).
Perhaps this is a simple thing to figure out, but not for all users. I am in the category of people who are looking through all the help topics but this one isn't addressed as far as I can see, and it is not immediately evident in preferences...
Thanks if anyone can help for real.

On your devices, settings > itunes & app stores > automatic downloads
On your macs, itunes preferences > store > automatic downloads

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