HT4623 I having difficulty in updating my iphone 3GS software from version 4.1 to version 5.1. I cannot update through my iphone & through itunes. Each time I tried a message appeared saying iphone software server cannot be contacted. Please, help

I am having difficulty in updating my iphone 3GS software from version 4.1 to version 5.1. I tried using my phone but cannot find the update software button even when I have gone through the right process by tapping SETTING, then GENERAL, yet could not find Update Software button. I mean the update Software button is not seen there.
I tried using itunes, yet no way. Each time I connect my iphone to my laptop itunes software comes up automatically and alerts me that a newer version of software for my iphone is available, It usually gives me the option of Download & Install or Download Only. Whichever of the option I click a message will always appear telling me that the iphone update server could not be contacted, then asking me to make sure that my network settings are correct and active or try again latter. Sometimes, when click on the Update button on my itune software. It will display an error has occured.
I have even tried to Restore iphone from itunes, yet the problem  keep repeating itself.
Can anyone help me?

Dear Tim,
I saw your message. Below are the problems:
Whenever I connect my iphone 3GS to my PC through a USB. My itunes software comes up automatically.
1. After that a message appears from the itunes that states that 'itunes could not connect to the itunes store, an unknown error cccured (306).
2. After the above, an alert message comes up which states that A new iphone software version 5.1 is availlable for my iphone. It then states would you like to download it and update your iphone now? With the options buttons as Cancel or Download and Update or Download Only. Whenever I clicked on Download and Update or Download Only, the next message that comes up is that The iphone Software Update Server Could not be Contacted and suggest make sure your network setting are correct and active or try again later.
The above is the challenges I am facing now.

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