HT4623 iphone 4 software update and not recognised

it has been ages since i last synced my iphone i have updated my itunes to 10.1. my pc is not recognising my iphone.  I have tried to follow instructions to update software but there is no software update option in my general settings.
can someone give me a step by step of what i have to do pleaaase
Sammy

READ the instructions in the link from which you posted.
It clearly states how to upgrade directly from the device (if running iOS5 or higher) or how to upgrade from iTunes on the computer if running iOS 4.
Also, update iTunes on your computer, iOS6 requires iTunes version 10.6 or higher.

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