Husband/Wife workflow using library merges - feasible?

The problem
I have been banging my head against a wall for weeks now to see if there is any way to resonably manage our family's photos together, from our separate iPhones and laptops. It's well documented that Apple has not made this easy, but I'm trying to find if there is any sort of reasonable workflow that will allow the following:
Give my wife and I immediate access to our own photos, on our own laptops (via iPhoto, Aperture, whatever)
Give us both semi-immediate (or even relatively soon) access to each other's photos (we often take similar photos in the same room around the same time) on our own laptops
Allow me (and preferrably both of us) the ability to keyword tag and mark rejects on our own time and laptops (or iOS devices) to our combined photos
In the end have "one" version of our library, after keywording, etc has taken place (preferrably alongside the working version of new files)
The "hopeful" semi-solution
I've read a bit about Aperture having the ability for photographers to systematically export their library to their remote laptop, have them and an assistant work on the same library space (separately, on separate machines), and then re-merge the library when the photographer comes back to the studio. This sounds like it could be made to work for my needs, but I have a few questions about how this works (I don't have Aperture yet).
If I understand the workflow correctly, I could do the following:
My laptop would effectively house the master lbrary
Take the current Aperture library on my machine and export it to my wife's machine, to give her a fresh "up-to-date" library
We each make edits & maybe import new photos on our respective machines, add keyword tags, etc.
Occasionally I merge her current year library into mine, merging our edits. Then I export my libary again for her latest "up-to-date"
Rinse, repeat every so often
If that is how it works, I have a few questions:
If we make edits, version, etc to the same photo, what happens? I think I read that as long as it wasn't the same type of change (i.e. keywords) then they would merge, but if we both made the same change, one machine would be set to override the other's changes. Is that correct?
How does this setup manage duplicates? If we separately import the same photo to our own machine while the library is separated, will it merge that photo (and edits/metadata) when we merge the library?
Is this type of workflow reliable, or does it have a lot of gotchas?

My wife and I also share a camera. We use the D50. The D50 allows you to create seperate folders on the camera. We use this when shooting to seperate our picture into two folders. The only problem with doing it this way is that when importing them it ignores the folders. I have been manually importing the pictures rather than letting it pull them from the camera to get around this though.
I'm not sure if the D70 azllows this, but it may be an idea.

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