I am having problems transferring songs from my computer to my iPhone.

I got a new laptop and installed all my music onto it, I also installed iTunes.  When I connect my phone it brings up iTunes etc. but if I try to drag music from my "library" to my phone, it will not let me.  Am I missing something?  I know when I hooked my phone up to the laptop the first time it just recoginized it at a mobile phone, and a storage device, it did not try to dl iTunes automatically, I had to go the the dl site and get it manually.

The way I've always done it and someone may have a better way and if so, I'd be open to how it's done actually the correct way.  Since this way has worked for me 100% in the past, why try and fix something that isn't really broken.  Try my way and hopefully all will be good in the iPhone/iTunes world for you:
Find the directory (folder) on your computer that is named something close to this after first connecting your iPhone to your computer and then verifying (very important) you can see it in the folder list on the left side of the iTunes application window:
C:\Users\<USERNAME>\Music\iTunes\iTunes Media\Automatically Add to iTunes\
After locating this directory (folder) path,(it may or may not be on the C: drive depending on where you installed iTunes of course) simply copy all of your media (music, videos, etc.) to this folder and allow the copy to complete.  Now, sit back and relax as iTunes "grabs" music from this folder one file at a time and more or less "checks" it to see if it's iPhone worthy of sorts.
When the copying and grabbing of files from this folder is complete, this folder will be empty.  Yes, empty as all of the files that have been either added or not added depending on the quality (I guess) of each of the media files and have now been "added to iTunes".  If the files were not added to the iTunes library, it's because they was some type of issue with the file quality or content or something.... not exactly sure how media files are "judged" by this process. 
Now that this process is complete, right click on your "iPhone" which you should still see on the left side of the iTunes application window and then click "Backup iPhone" or something close to that. NOTE:  I'm assuming you have already done this right click and performed a "transfer purchases" prior to doing this "Backup" process.  After the backup process completes, right click the iPhone icon again and then click on "sync".  The sync process will start and finish and when completed, you should now have all your music as well as everything else on your iPhone as well as your iTunes library.
Hope this helps and if not, I'm sorry I couldn't help after all.  Have a good day!

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    How to Copy and Move (Clone) your Music Files from One Computer to Another – or Archive Prior to a PC Re-Image or Reformat
    This is the conceptual framework with related and important links. Apply and adapt it to your specific situation and equipment resources.
    The safest, quickest, and most optimal method to move your Library to a new computer is to actually clone the entire ‘iTunes’ folder (directory) structure, rather than just copying just the song files. By copying the entire ‘iTunes’ folder and all sub-folders, you capture not only the music files, but the all-important ‘iTunes Library.itl’ database file (usually located in the ‘iTunes’ folder), which contains all the data about your songs (Playlists, Ratings, Play Counts, Last Played, Date Added, etc). See: What are the iTunes Library files?
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    - 2c) Connect them via a USB-to-USB Network Bridge. Example here. There are various types out there (use Google).
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    5) Burn 6x more on CDs (at 700MB each) than in #4 above and load the files and folders on the new computer. Re-writable CDs are more cost effective (if your CD drive can manage these types).
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    Switch from PC to Mac Using the iPod
    hudgie: Migrating iTunes for Windows to a new PC
    How to copy music between authorized computers
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    http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1296
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