I can't change the ringtone on my iPhone 4

I recently changed my wife's incoming ringtone on my phone to one I recorded from a CD.  The default ringtone on my own phone is one I bought from Apple*.
Doing this changed the default for ALL incoming calls to the one I set for my wife even though SETTINGS shows my phone to be the default one as the one from the Apple ringtone.
Wait- it gets worse.  I set my wife's personalized incoming back to the same default as I had on my phone.  It looks correct on her CONTACTS profile, but still plays the one I recently set for her.
I tried resetting all of them to the original Apple marimba ringtone with no luck.  How can I fix this?
*BTW-- older users will remember this tone.  It's from the old movie In Like Flint. It's the ringtone from the President's "red phone" for international emergencies.  It was sort of prophetic because the movie was from the mid '60s, when phones had actual bells, not ringtones.

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