I Cannot Add Buddies in iChat 4 and 5 - How do I fix this ?

Question

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I Cannot Add Buddies in iChat 4 and 5
Many people are reporting that they cannot add Buddies to either iChat 4 or iChat 5.
The Symptoms are that the Buddy appears in the Buddy List and then does the "Brightening/Fading" cycle but fails to be anywhere in the list including Off Line Buddies.
To Show Off Line Buddies, highlight the Buddy list to bring to the "front".
Then go to the View Menu and Enable Show Off Line Buddies.
(there is also an Option to display these in a separate Group).
There can be many causes and I will attempt to deal with then in the order that they are most likely.
A) The Contact is already in the Address Book.
When Adding a Buddy via the use of the + Sign at the Bottom of the Buddy List (Then Add Buddy) or invoking it from the Buddies menu a drop down appears to slide down out of the Buddy List Header area
In this slide out/drop down, you get the chance to Add the Screen Name and then the First Name Last Name details of the Buddy.
iChat checks the Address Book and if the First Name, Last Name items do not match any contact in the Address Book already then the Buddy will be added to the Buddy list.
As the Address Book does not allow two contacts to have the same name they will not be added to the iChat Buddy List if the name exists already.
In iChat 3 and earlier there was an Error Message that popped up saying there was Feedbag Error
See here for More
Note: AIM Protocols call Lists "Feedbags". Contents (Buddies) are "Food" and of course Food is kept in Feedbags.
The Address Book is one Feedbag in this case and the Screen Name (only) Buddy List held on the AIM Server is the other.
The Software puts the two together for Display purposes
The Fix.
Either:
1) Add them as Screen Name only
2) Use the Arrow head at the end of the Last Name line to open the Address Book and pick the Contact.
3) Open the Address Book and Edit their Card to Add the Screen Name, then drag them from the Name column to the iChat Buddy List.
4) During any type of Chat use the item in the Buddies Menu to Add the person (it will display their Screen Name in Dark text if not in the Buddy List - Then item 2 can also be used)
B) Parental Controls
There are similar Symptoms if the Mac User Account is subject to Parental Controls.
If the Mac User Account on the computer is not an Admin account it is a Standard or Managed one
A Managed one has Parental Controls Enabled.
There is a Tab for Mail and iChat.
If it is turned on for iChat then all buddies are Blocked initially (in iChat 4 Jabber and Bonjour Buddy List cannot be used.)
Adding AIM valid Screen Names (AIM, Those with either @mac.com or @me.com endings) to the allow List Unblocks those Buddies and they will show in the Buddy List as On or Off line
The Fix.
In this case if you are the Managed account you have to get the Admin account to add the Buddy to the Buddy allowed list in Parental Controls.
Exception
There is a very large exception.
Due to the fact that the way Parental Controls blocks names until they appear in the Allow List there can be a problem if testing the same iChat Details in a Test Account.
Lets say you are the Admin User on the Mac.
You set up a second Mac User Account called Test.
In this you set up iChat with the same details (Screen name) you use in your Main Mac User Account.
You then test Parental Controls by turning it On and setting the iChat Limit option.
Then you add to the allow List one or two AIM valid names.
You check iChat and find they are the only Buddies that show up.
It works, so you return to your main Mac User Account and discover that most of your Buddies are missing.
On checking the iChat Menu > Preferences > Accounts > Security Tab you find the Allow Specific People option is Enabled and the list only includes those Buddies you set in Parental Controls.
Choosing allow All does not seem to bring back the Buddies even if you Log out of the Test Mac User Account.
The Fix Here
Is to Disable all the Parental Control Settings again (Remove names from any list) before Logging out of the Test Mac User Account.
The cause is partly to do with the Setting in iChat > Preferences > General Section that reads "When I quit iChat, Set the Status to Off Line" which is not the default - leaving a partial login for Off Line Messaging. As a consequence your Buddy List is constantly being told to block certain Screen Names.
A Variation on this is if you have Two Log-ins of your Screen Name from either different apps or computers.
Altering the Buddy List in one effects the other login. The computer or app that was logged in first take precedence.
C) Adding Buddies as the wrong type (In Buddy List - But always Off Line)
This applies more to iChat 4 than it does to iChat 5
At the Add Buddy Screen/Slide in iChat 4 you have to choose if the Buddy is an AIM, @mac. or MobileMe name in a drop down.
The software shows the @mac.com or @me.com endings in grey in the Screen Name text field and adds this for you.
This can lead to Buddies being added as the wrong type as in ralphjohnsr added as [email protected] etc.
It can also lead to people being added with 2 @ symbols in the Screen Name ([email protected]@mac.com) and iChat not always telling you this is not allowed.
In both iChat 4 and 5, as Jabber IDs/Screen Names also look like Email Addresses, we have to also consider whether AIM names have been added to a Jabber List or Jabber Names added to AIM valid Lists.
D) Plain old Typos
Here I am talking about misreading someone's Screen Name and typing that in (Such as receiving and email with a Screen Name in it and typing the letter O for 0 (zero).)
And of course, just plain typing mistakes.
The Fix for C) and D)
The Buddy in this case will be in the Buddy List but will always be Off line
Highlight the Buddy with one click.
Do a Get Info (Apple()/Command(⌘) key and I key together) and their Info card will show up.
Correct as Required.
8:25 PM Wednesday; November 24, 2010
This is the 1st version of this tip. It was submitted on November 24, 2010 by Ralph Johns (UK).
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Answer 1

Thanks Ralph,
Some thoughts.
To Show Off Line Buddies, highlight the Buddy list to bring to the "front".
Then go to the {color:red}Show Menu{color} and Enable Show Off Line Buddies.
(there is also an Option to display these in a separate Group).
Do you mean under the {color:green}View{color} menu where I see Show Offline Buddies? (both iChat 4.0.8 and 5.0.3)
A)… In the {color:red}slide out that appears from the top{color} of the Buddy list you get the chance to Add the Screen Name and then the First Name Last Name details of the Buddy.
I kept looking for a button for the "slide out" at the top of the Buddy list. Found out it's the dialog box that appears when you click "+" (Add a new buddy…) at the bottom of the list. Yes, I can act like a beginner too
(Slide out to me sounds like a sideways slide out, versus a Pop Up or Pop Down Dialog box).
As the Address Book does not allow two contacts to have the same name they will not be added to the iChat Buddy List {color:green}if the name already exists.{color}
The Address Book i one Feedbag in this case
The Address Book {color:green}is{color} one Feedbag in this case
B) Adding AIM valid Screen Names (AIM, Those with either @mac.com or @me.com endings) to the allow List Unblocks those Buddies and they will show in the Buddy List as On {color:red}of{color} Off line
…     as On {color:green}or{color} Off line
*The Fix.
Exception*
{color:red}The{color} you add to the allow {color:red}List{color} one or two AIM valid names.
{color:green}Then{color} you add to the allow one or two AIM valid names.
C)
At the Add Buddy Screen/Slide in {color:red}ichat{color} 4
At the Add Buddy Screen/Slide in {color:green}iChat 4{color}
In both iChat 4 and 5 as Jabber IDs/Screen Names also look like Email Addresses we have to also consider
In both iChat 4 and 5 as Jabber IDs/Screen Names also look like Email Addresses{color:green}. We{color} have to also consider
Nubz