I cannot see my iPhone backup when I click on "restore from backup"

Hi there, I just upgraded my iPhone to iOS 5.1.  Before I began I backed up my iPhone within iTunes.  I checked that the backup was successful by checking the folder and files existed in "%AppData%\Apple Computer\MobileSync\Backup" - which they did.  After the upgrade which iTunes told me was successful I have my Contacts and Photos but have lost my ringtones, music and texts.  I'm particularly bothered by losing my texts because I had historical texts from my Mum who has passed away recently.  I went back into iTunes, right clicked on my device and selected "restore from backup" but in the list of backups it does not list my backup - just a really old one from my son's phone a number of months ago. 
Can anyone help with this?  Is there a way to tell iTunes that the backup exists and to point it there?  (sorry, I'm a Windows user only) 
Also, another issue while I'm here and may be related (not sure).  I'm unable to synch my phone with iTunes as it says it's already synched with another computer (which it was but it died a horrible death and has since left this world).  So currently the only way I can update music, ringtones etc is through a 3rd party free app called Copy TransManager.  Anyone know a way out of that problem? 
This Kiwi would appreciated any wisdom, assistance, help you can offer on these two points.  In order of priority ... I can manage with the non-sync weirdness as I've found a work around .... getting my backup to work so I can get my texts is of upmost importance to me.  Thank you. 

Hello, JG257. 
Thank you for visiting Apple Support Communities.
If you are unable to import photos from your device, try the troubleshooting steps in the article below.
iOS: Unable to import photos to computer
http://support.apple.com/kb/ts3195
Cheers,
Jason H.

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