I cannot send or receive messages

On iPhone 4, I cannot send or receive messages. In the settings, send and receive, it will not let me select my phone number.  Also keep getting error messages when trying to connect to iMessage. If I turn it off, I still cannot send or receive messages

The phone number is always gray and so is mine. Is there a ticked mark next to the phone number?
If you switch off iMessage and you cannot text then it's certainly your carrier's problem because SMS & MMS are carrier features. Not everyone has an iPhone with iMessage configured so SMS & MMS should alway worked as long as your text & data plan are properly provisioned.
Delete the Messages app from multitask-list and do a reset :
Reset: Hold down the Sleep/Wake button and the Home button at the same time for at least ten seconds, until the Apple logo appears. Note: You will not lose any data
Troubleshooting iMessage:
http://support.apple.com/kb/TS4268

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