I cannot sync my mac address book and BlackBerry

I have successfully installed the BlackBerry desktop software and was successful at syncing my calendar.  However, my contacts will not sync.  I get a message that my phone is set to wirelessly update and I need to shut it off.  I follow the instructions to go to options and chose desktop or wireless sync off; neither of these options exist on my phone options.  I do not know what a BES is but I don't think I have one; this is a personal phone.  I've read several posts about this but none of them seem to answer this question.
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