I do not know how to use i cloud. or i tunes anymore for that matter. can someone help me?

I had not updated my Itunes in a while. when i got my mac i updated it to the latest version and i guess i set up i cloud but I have no idea how to use it. i have 1163 songs in my itunes library but they literally only show up some times and others they dont. it says i have all those songs in my music library on my phone but then half of them dont play and i dont understand why? most of my songs have a little cloud next to them like they need to be downloaded but i dont understand????
I just want all my music on my phone.
my phone also cant back up to icloud becase there is no storage but i have 3 backups under my back up and i dont know what to do? i lost my phone recently and i think it still has my old back up but i dont wanna delete that one cause im scared its gonna delete everything and i just really dont know what to do.
does anyone know if im doing something wrong or what i can do to back up to my old back up or what?
my contacts also always change names. or i put a number in my phone and it literally disappears 2 minutes later. ill save the number again and it does it again but then i look back in a ciuple of weeks and i have 4 of the same contact. its very frustrating

Did you enable the "Find my..." function BEFORE you lost it?

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