I got a new laptop and I'm having trouble getting it to sync.

I bought a new laptop and downloaded itunes. I got my id set up but i can't delete the music and apps from my phone and reset them. All of my software is up to date.  Anybody have any ideas?

You mean iTunes doesn't see the iPad.
If you are running iTunes 11 - go to View>Show Sidebar at the top of the screen in the iTunes menu. When the sidebar is enabled - do you see the iPad under Devices?

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