I have iPad, my wife's iPone 4 and my new iPhone 4s all on iOS 5 and using the same Apple account. That is convenient in many ways except I can't use iMessage from my iPad and iPhone to my wife's iPhome. Any solution?

When iMessage is enabled on all 3 devices, they just seem to mirror all iMessage conversations on all of them. Can I configure iMessage for my wife's iPhone such that it becomes a separate entity with that respect while staying on the same Appte account with other our devices?

Actually, there is a solution, and it sounds to go against what you want until you realize how well it works.
Seperate Apple IDs is the solution, but you can granularly sign into different things with different IDs.  Now, I'm in the exact same situation as you and saw the exact same problem.  Here was our solution:
1) Create new Apple IDs for everyone that didn't already have one.  This meant my wife and daughter needed new IDs.
2) Go into Settings -> Message and select "Receive At..."
3) Change the Apple ID in iMessage on a per-device basis to the new ID for who ever owns that device.  For example, the new ID for my wife went on her phone, same with my daughter.
Apple IDs are free, and you don't have to change the ID on every part of your phone.  For example, we still have the generic family ID on iCloud and the store, but we have our own unique ones signed in on iMessage and Game Center.  From what I can tell, this is the best of both worlds.

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