I'm going to kill myself - and Linksys!

Just purchased a new pavilion laptop which did NOT recognize my current wireless setup.
So over to the desktop for some tweaking.
Multiple beers later I had forgotten what changes (if any) I had made to the Linksys settings or any other settings.
After two days and nights of constant exploration and Coronas I think I have managed to change whatever one could change.
Problem: I can connect to the internet with a USB cable direct from modem to PC. I have now lost the ability to do so with the ethernet cable.
When the router is thrown into the mix with the associated Ethernet Cable then I may as well be connecting to a can of baked beans.
Nothing happens unless the USB is present for an internet connection and even then I can only access the internet.
The router is out of play.
Firmwear upgrade didn't happen because linksys couldn't see an internet connection.
All of the fixes that have been recommended from all parts of the planet have been attempted - to no avail.
Reinstalled the linksys software, etc.
Spent hours with various enthusiastic Comcast techs whose solutions didn't work.
Read a million forums
Today I decided to tackle it from the Laptop direction.
After days of telling me that it couldn't find home base, today it suddenly relented a little.
Gleefully it informed me that "linksys 2" was available for my immediate consumption.
Since  I had attempted to reset everything on the desktop and router, I wasn't in a position to complain about whether or not that happened to be my assigned name.
If a neighbor's connection is open and that is THEIR name then I decided that I would just run with that for a while until things improved.
Mind you it could actually be my "home".
I just don't know.
But no luck - The laptop is not connecting to the internet anyway!!
Current situation:
I decided today would be an opportune time to give up cigarettes.
Real bad timing!!!
I have a USB from modem to PC ( gives me inetrnet access)
Ethernet cable from modem to router and thence to PC ( gives me nothing)
Router internet light flashing.
If I disconnect the USB I'm lost.
Many beers later on Saturday and Sunday night I had opened every dialogue box known to mankind and did my best to try new things.
At first I was able to memorize those intial changes but as I became lost in the Bill Gates jungle I hoped that luck and good fortune would aid my escape back to my initial settings.
So it is now Monday evening and I am removing my shoe laces to hang myself with.
Can someone help?
- With the wireless setup I mean!
I have tried EVERYTHING!

First you should be able to go online directly thru the modem using an Ethernet cable(Modem to Computer)...
Once you have Internet Connection(Modem to Computer) reset your router.
Press and hold the reset button for 30 seconds.Then, unplug the power keep holding down the reset button for another 30 Seconds.Plug back the power back in, and keep holding down the reset button for 30 Seconds.Release the reset button.Then you can follow this linkto set your router for Internet Accesss.
Once you have Intenet you can set the Wireless Settings(Network Name and Wireless Security) : 
Access the setup page of the router by launching an Internet
Explorer and type on the address bar, 192.168.2.1 and press enter. When
it prompts for the username and password, leave the username field
empty and provide password as “admin "" all in lower cases and then
click on ok.
Click on the Wireless tab
- Here Wireless Network mode should be mixed
- Provide any name in the Wireless Network Name (SSID) box, all in
lower cases without any spaces in between.
- Set wireless channel to 11
- And wireless SSID broadcast should be Enabled and then click on save
settings.
Please make a note of Wireless Network Name (SSID) as this is the
Network Identifier.
For Wireless Security : -
Now Click on the Sub tab under Wireless > Wireless Security.
Change the Wireless security mode to WEP
Encryption should be 64 bits.
Leave the Pass phrase blank, don't type in anything.
And under WEP Key 1 type in any 10 numbers please.
Click on save settings.
Please make a note of WEP Key 1 as this is the Security Key for the
Wireless Network.Check if that works...

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