I'm New Sorry But I Have A Question

Well When I am on iTunes it says that my Ipod is plugged in, but it won't let me update my Ipod, how do I get it to update?
And it always says do not connect but I do anyways is that bad?
  Windows XP  

If your iPod is set to the manually manage songs and playlists option then do not disconnect will always show until you manually eject it. If it is set to automatic update it should disconnect automatically unless it is enabled for disk use (in other words set to be used as a portable hard drive)
Disconnecting iPod from your computer: http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=61135
How are you trying to update?
What happens when you try to update?
What is happening when you try to restore?

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