I'm not responding issue on chat with Windows XP user

Question

Hi Everyone,
First off, My ability to log on is still spotty with a mac.com or AIM address. I've done everything from my last posting regularly but still get spotty log ons, appoximately 1 in 8 log ons is successful, the rest is hoist unexpectedly lost. I personally think there is much more than just my computer, time for an upgrade Apple!
My problem today is that I'm trying to chat with a buddy in Austria. He's running Windows XP and installed AIM 5.9. He ran through the set up, his camera was listed, he did the autoconfigure, set up the camera and has a good preview.
When I log on I can see him and he me. We can text chat with no problems. HOWEVER, no video chat
When he calls me, I double click, it opens to the preview screen, I click on accept and my window say video conferencing starting, then it says video chast failed because I didn't respond. This is incomprehensible to me since I hit the accept button and the video chat tried to start.
Furthermore, when I call him, it rings at his place, he clicks accept, we both get the preview and video chat starting message, then I get the video chat failed because I didn't respond message, even though I initiated the call.
That all said, apart from the spotty log on problems plaguing me, once I am logged on, I have absolutely no problems chatting with my wife at the office on her Mac.
So, if I constantly get I didn't respond messages as described with a Windows XP user but not with the wife on a Mac, I have to assume there's nothing wrong at my end, or shouldn't I *** U & ME at all??!!
Does the windows user need different ports than me, do I need to open additional ports, should I switch off my firewall completely?? He already tried switching off his firewall coompletely but the same message came up.
I pointed my buddy to Ralph's web site, but when we went there to get the windows updated component, it appeared to want to download the same messenger 5.9 that we downloaded earlier today, the file was the same 8.8 meg. Am I missing something Ralph?
Of course, there "may" be a language compatibility issue because 5.9 is English and he's running it on a german version of Windows (AIM only has text on AIM 5.1 for Gewrman users right now which has no video) but he didn't have any problems with the install or set up.
It's just really confusing. Any suggestions??

Answer 1

Curious, you said each other could see each other BEFORE initiating a video chat... do you mean that each of you could see each other in the buddies list?
As for not connecting to a PC user, you're not the only one having issues. I have been able to receive a video chat from a PC user, but not initiate one with that same user. Basically in order for me to receive a video chat from the PC user (they must initiate the chat), I had to go into my System Preferences > Internet and Network > Sharing > Firewall and then check the box "iChat BonJour". My firewall is turned off, however, if I do not put a check in that one box, the PC user can't video chat with me. Don't ask me why this is so since the firewall is turned off, it should automatically allow traffic on all ports... but alas, apparently that is not the case. That alone did not do the trick because the PC users router was not playing well in the mix. He connected directly to his modem (removed his router from the mix), and initiated a video chat with me, no problems. If he puts his router back into the mix, he can't video chat any more. If I deselect the "iChat Bonjour" setting, whether he is connected to the router or not, he will no longer be able to initiate a video chat any more. I tried removing my router, so that basically we both were connected directly to our modems, but that didn't help me to initiate a video chat with him. Text chats have never been a problem and both of us are using AIM as our intermediary.
I also have no problems whatsoever chatting with fellow Mac users... but then, we are all working with the same software/OS whereas the PC users are not.
Give my little scenario a go with your PC friend and see if he can now initiate a chat with you. I too would like to know what the PC user needs to enable as well... like specifics since merely saying open ports blah blah blah does nothing for someone who has no idea where to look to make those changes on a PC.
So what I have learned is:
1. Merely turning your firewall off doesn't automatically enable certain port traffic on your machine, you must enable it yourself. This could also be true for the PC users as well, thus knowing where to enable said ports under WindowsXP would be greatfully welcome.
2. Routers can interfere with the process. If removing the routers from the chain still results in no joy, then consider it to be a configuration issue on each machine. If removing the routers works, then your machines/software are good to go, you just now have to figure out why the routers don't like each other. In my case, my router works fine for him, but his does not work fine for me.
One should be able to connect to a PC if the PC can connect to you. Clearly I need to enable something else on my end or he needs to enable something on his end. The stuff should work, but our stupid machines are telling themselves to not work because we never told them that we want them to work. I know that sounds absurd, but I proved that was the case when I got the PC user to initiate a successful video chat with me.