I'm trying to get my itunes media from two different PCs onto my iPhone

After purchasing media from iTunes (same iTunes account) on two different computers (1x Win Vista desktop and 1x Win XP laptop), is there a way to get all of this media onto my iPhone (3GS)? I was very dissapointed to see that you can only sync one computer at a time which surprised me because usually Apple products are a lot more user friendly and from my humble experience, I have generally found Apple products to just make since although this problem is seriously aggravating. I am trying to get all of the media that I bought on my laptop (Win XP) to sync with my iPhone (3GS) but since I have already been syncing with my desktop (Win Vista), it wants to erase everything that I already had on my phone, including invaluable photos that I have taken of my children and media that I have purchased on the phone itself. This process has already deleted all of the music that I purchased on my phone (I am assuming that I can't get this music back or at least the music that wasn't backed up yet to my desktop). Is there anyway to get all of my media onto this phone and keep the media that is on my phone already or should I just go back to using my HTC Tilt since it has proven to be a lot more user friendly? One would think that Apple would appreciate you purchasing media from iTunes anywhere that you could but it seems that Apple penalizes you for purchasing from iTunes from more than one computer. I have tried to access my iPhone through the "my computer" folder on my Win XP laptop but my iPhone does not show up in this folder (although it does show up in my Vista desktop "my computer" folder). Can anyone please point me in the right direction to find a solution as this problem has been extremely frustrating. I would very much appreciate all the help that anyone could give.

Will iTunes allow me to do this? I'm not really all that familiar with Windows computers. I have recently had to move to a PC because my $3000 macBook Pro died one month after the warranty was up. How could I get iTunes to accept media from another computer?

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