I want to choose when to use iMessage (iOS8/5S)

My daughter and I both have a 5S running 8.0.2. In the past, we have always kept in touch via SMS. I keep 4G off whilst at work to save battery, no WiFi available either. We are now locked in an iMessage conversation which means messages go missing. I recently received one from her on Sunday that she had sent on Friday. Glad it wasn't an emergency.
Messages now defaults to iMessage. If no WiFi/4G is available, double-tapping the message brings up the option to send as an SMS, message turns green and appears to send but without a Send tone. This is often followed by a Notification that the iMessage failed to send. Infuriatingly, this notification then vanishes. So has the Message been sent? Better phone and check... it turns out the Message will usually arrive as both an SMS and an iMessage but quite often not until she has 4G/WiFi available. Or maybe on her iPad but not her phone. I seems the only way to have a normal SMS conversation is to be sure that both parties have WIFi/4G off and how do you ensure that? Better phone and check... otherwise an SMS from me will receive an iMessage response from her which I will not receive.
Turning iMessage OFF would seem to be the answer, except that both of us need to receive iMessages from others, I just don't understand why I can't easily choose how to continue a conversation.

With respect, not the point I was making. Send as SMS checked on both phones, but the conversation now always reverts to iMessage if available. Unfortunately it cannot check that it is available to BOTH parties at the time so the conversation ceases.

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I want to choose when to use iMessage (iOS8/5S)

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