I want to upgrade iOS from 5 to 6, but when I go to synch everything in preparation, it tells me I will lose all my stuff on the iPhone and iPad which is unique.  How can I backup or do a "real synch" (both sides have same data) and then upgrade?

I want to upgrade iOS from 5 to 6, but when I go to synch everything in preparation, it tells me I will lose all my stuff on the iPhone and iPad which is/are  unique.  How can I backup or do a "real synch" (both sides have same data at end of process) and then upgrade?

You should really read the manual.
"How do you restore from backup? "
Restore.  When given the choice, choose to use backup.
"And how can I check to see if the pics and videos are on my computer somewhere first??"
They would only be where you put them.  What program did you use to import them?  Pics/vids taken with ipod are not part of the sync process at all.  You should be importing them just as you would with any digital camera.
If you did not import them, then they are not on your computer.

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