Ical 3.0.8 to-dos all gone - irreplaceable important info - help!

Hello,
My wife today lost all of her to-dos - they just weren't there when she opened iCal. There's some irreplaceable things in there - things our young kids have said for example (don't ask why she keeps it there - I can't figure it out myself...)
I've searched these forums and the internet for the better part of 3 hours and can't find any resolution. I've tried using Time Machine to replace the /Library/Calendars folder, deleted the .plist files, etc. As a matter of fact, I can't even 'reset' iCal when trying. I erase any and all iCal related files I know of on the system, but no matter what I do, when I start iCal it gives me an "upgrading calendars" notification and then shows all her calendars (and a bunch of very old to-dos from 2 years ago). This is with the machine off the LAN and not connected to the internet (and we don't do MobileMe).
One note is we're using BusySync to keep synced calendars on our home LAN. I've turned off BusySync as well as syncing in iSync - no change. iCal still magically finds her calendars in it when we launch after trashing all calendars from the library.
What is going on? How can we get these to-dos back? I'd be happy just to learn how to 'erase' iCal itself. Where is it finding this calendar data when I've turned off sync services (through iSync), turned off BusySync, reset the sync services history, reset the busymac history, trashed all files and caches related to iCal, BusySync, Sync Services located in the library, preferences, cache directories and anything else that even looks remotely like it could be related.
Anyone have any suggestions? I'm at my wit's end. I thought this is what Time Machine was supposed to prevent from happening!!

I have the exact same issue on a client's machine.

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