ICal and iCloud

Okay, this whole iCloud thing is a bit above my head right now.  I seem to be making it work, but am a bit confused, and want to make sure I am doing things correctly.  Where there is an actual question, I will place in the quote box... but, there may be implied questions elsewhere, or if you find I have made a bad assumption, please make me aware!
First of all, I have an iPhone 4 (IOS 5) and a MacBook.  My husband has an iPhone 4 (IOS 4-he resists change and has not updated his IOS).  I neglected to tell you what system my MacBook is on because I want to show you the order in which I did everything.
So, for sake of argument, let's say up through October, I entered events into my iPhone 4 (IOS 4) and/or on my MacBook (Snow Leopard), and then synced through iTunes (hard wire connection to MacBook), sharing calendars between my husband's iPhone and I by syncing back and forth.
Then, I alone (my husband has not updated his iPhone) updated to IOS 5 on my iPhone.  It seemed to automatically export my calendars (All on my Mac) as they were to iCloud calendars.  So, I abandoned adding events to the "All on My Mac" calendars and only entered into my iCloud calendars.  However, it wasn't until recently I noticed I had to create a CALDAV link to iCloud to see those new/edited events on my Mac under Snow Leopard.  My husband, in the meantime has been using his calendars that aren't iCloud affiliated since he is still on IOS 4
I am wondering what will happen with those "On my Mac" calendars he has on his iPhone if I already had those calendars on my iPhone when I switched to iCloud?- we use the same apple ID.
  It has been a while since I synced his iPhone.
So, then, I had a duplicate sets of calendars in my iCal (iCloud and the Mac-driven calendars).
But, then a week ago, I downloaded Lion onto my MacBook.  It seems to still be connected via that CALDAV link I did.  Not sure if that is still the most efficient way-this was a workaround for Snow Leopard,
but how is Lion supposed to be set up for iCloud calendars?
(I also am unsure all the time why my computer is asking to use a password using my email account in my keychain- wording is wrong, but I am sure others have gotten this same request.  I have denied, I have accepted, but never said always allow because I am not sure what it is trying to do.)
So, my question,
can I delete my old "On my Mac" calendars since I have abandoned them?  What will happen when I connect my husband's iPhone if those calendars are missing?  Could I just sync the new iCloud calendars as described above instead onto his iPhone?  And, will it from then on out allow him to use iCloud, or does he need to be on IOS 5?
BTW, I don't know if it matters, but I have never had a .me account.  I read somewhere you can get a .me email account by having Lion.  I think I read that I need to set that up in iCloud on my MacBook, but have not done that.  My current apple id is an independant email account that I've had for years.  Not sure what will happen if I ever have to get rid of that email address. 
I am sure I can change my contact email address in my apple profile, but would that change my apple id to the new email address I give (whether it be a .me email or a different, let's say, gmail account)?
My iPhone seems to be syncing okay.  But, would like to clean up my iCal and I want to make sure I do things properly when it comes to syncing with my husband's iPhone if he stays at IOS4 (and how I sync him up- can it be automatic or do I have to continue the hard wire approach?) and what I should do differently in setting up his iPhone if he switches to IOS5 (and what steps I should do as I update him to IOS5 so calendars aren't lost or duplicated- as he has added entries to his calendar for example -"Husband's calendar"- and I have an iCloud calendar named that, but he has added more to the "on my mac" version on his iPhone and I have added some to the iCloud version.)

u mean mobileme yes? first thing to do is to go to mobileme ON THE WEB and see if the events are there. then check to make sure you are using the right calendar in iCal and mobileme is set to sync ur calendar in the first place.
In iCal:
In system preferences:
then if that all looks good and still no dice, there is a procedure in the mobileme forum for resyncing all your mobileme stuff.
Message was edited by: coocooforcocoapuffs: go to mobileme ON THE WEB

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