ICal & attendees: how do I select which email address?

When I add attendees to an iCal event (local or CalDAV, it doesn't matter), from either the Address Panel or dragging names from Address Book itself, they're automatically added with their 'top' email address. This is somewhat expected, but I cannot change the address that their name is linked to.
For example:
a friend of mine has two email addresses. The top one is their school account, and the bottom one is their gmail one.
In the Address Panel, I can see (and select) either address, and drag to the event's attendee list. But it always selects their school account, and the drop-down in iCal doesn't give me any other options.
If I drag from Address Book, the behavior is the same.
I've occasionally encountered apparent glitches, where an attendee is added TWICE with one drag-drop action. Stranger still, these result in the first/top name containing only their top email address, while the second contains all of their email addresses (the expected and desired result).
If I type in their name, the drop-down list contains all possible matches and all their email addresses, and if I select one, it behaves as expected, and selects that address, and not the top one. The name now in the list only contains the selected email, however, instead of all of their addresses.
So... is there a way I can get all those email addresses to appear all the time? Or at least some way to enforce which email is added, instead of randomly adding the 'top' one, which may or may not be correct?
And if this isn't the normal behavior (which it doesn't seem to be), may I HIGHLY recommend that it become the normal behavior? Obviously, an email address must be chosen by default, but why limit the choices when you have access to all of them? Especially when it makes groups nearly useless when used to add as attendees?

To view a different account in the Mail app tap the email account name at the top left of the Inbox, then tap Mailboxes at the top of the folder selection window, and you should then be able to select a different email account and navigate down into it's folders

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