ICal - incoming Mail ICS invites go to wrong calendar - or go to no calendar

My default calendar invites coming in on email (most often through Lotus Notes or Outlook) aren't going to the correct calendar, even though I have my defaults set up.  I've reviewed some threads on this and there appears to be no easy resolution: it sounds like an ICS invite will go to the FIRST calendar in your calendar list, not the "default" (only invitations created manually seem to go there).   Since I have one "on my Mac" calendar , which always appears above  iCloud, incoming mail ICS invites always go there.  On Yosemite..  My scenario is:
1) I have one "on my Mac" calendar that I use because there are many reminders I only really need when at the home iMac; otherwise my phone is popping up annoying reminders when my Mac is already doing that (and if Apple had more "sleep" options I wouldn't even have to do this!).
2) In Mail, default calendar is "Work" (in iCloud).
3) Creating new invitations from iCal work fine: they go to "Work" calendar.
4) Any invitations auto-accepted by Mail, however, go to the On My Mac.  Thus the suggestion of ordering the calendars won't work unless I can get "on my Mac" below the set of iCal calendars, which doesn't seem possible.
So if there's a way to move "on my Mac" DOWN I guess that would fix it.  But really,  a default calendar is a default calendar: why would incoming Mail ICS invitations not use it??  Any resolutions?
On another note, the "Auto Accept" option in mail doesn't seem to work consistently.  I haven't tested this, but it may only be from Lotus Notes emails, of which I get a lot.
Thank you,  Ron

anyone seen this…?

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