ICal invites are not received by some people (I know why, but Apple won't fix it)

I switched to icloud a while back and have the maddening problem of SOME people not receiving invites, and have discovered what causes it (at least in my case):
If the user you are sending to has an itunes (or apple id) account with that email as the login (and that email is NOT an icloud email) they will never receive the iCal invite! Instead it gets routed to their (non setup) icloud account. If they start using icloud for their calendars with this same external email address as login, they will receive them there (directly on their calendar if it is setup). Apple refuses to forward it to their real email address, the one we are sending it to. I have reported it to Apple several times but they are not inclined to fix it, probably because they want to force external users to use icloud. This is mega frustrating. Many of my friends do not receive invites, forcing me to use Google calendar for events with those friends. I prefer the general interface and look of icloud/ical invites, but I need to be able to actually invite people!

ssuess wrote:
Not for me, but let me verify the following type scenario with you:
1. Your person to invite has a gmail address ([email protected])
2. That gmail address is their Apple ID/iTunes login name (this is the most important piece)
3. They may have some icloud service on (like note syncing) but do not use icloud calendaring or mail (or may have signed up for mail but never check it)
4. Your icloud/ical invite arrives properly in their gmail inbox (at [email protected])?
Is all the above true? For me, the above scenario results in no email being received at the address I sent it to (number 4), it gets routed/lost in icloud if that is their Apple ID login.
Like I said, I do not have the issue you have, all my invites are received regardless of the email provider and user ID's I just send to the correct address and that's it. Frankly if what you said was common the service would be useless, but it works for millions. The problem is at your end, not everybody's.
The login name is just a text string to iCloud, not an address.

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