Ical reminders: two issues

Hello,
I have three Macs (lucky me) all connected via iSync. When I am working, I don't generally like to be reminded about birthdays as I am busy. However, because I need reminders on my other computers, I have to respond to the event reminder, when I'd rather just dismiss it for good on that particular computer.
I guess there is no way to have reminders on some computers (but not all), or to dismiss that reminder once but not affecting its status on the other computers?
Similarly, if I eventually dismiss a recurring event reminder, that has changed the time the reminder appears for the next occurrence of the event. If I set an event to remind me 10 days before, but I dismiss the reminder 2 days, 3 hours, and 42 minutes before the event, is it possible to have iCal automatically remind me 10 days before the next occurrence?
I think not, but it would be nice...
Thanks for your help,
M.

From this post it appears that those of us with a 3GS don't get the feature, funny as I watched the keynote on IOS5 and didnt recall any mention of it being for 4 and 4S phones only...
https://discussions.apple.com/message/16337670#16337670
I have a 3GS and have the same issue.

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