ICal Server sends invitations via external email but no RSVP

I have set up a fresh install of Mavericks Server (10.9.3) running DNS and OD Services and now enabled iCal Server.
I setup invitation of external users via an external email address and  invitations get sent and delivered via email just fine so I guess plus-addressing must be supported by the mailserver.
However the invitations do not show the RSVP requests and do not automatically get picked up by Calendar.app.
The server sits behind a NAT router and runs its own Split-DNS setup for the same local domain myserver.xyz.com that the router also redirects to the internal IP address of the server for external access to the iCal Server (so, FQDN is working for the server). The email account used for invitations is hosted on an external mailserver that runs on the same domain (mail.xyz.com).
Did I miss anything in my setup?
Thanks for any input.
Pete

Okay, got this figured out. Appears that the email server my client's company uses is terminating the connection when the Xserve tries to do anything. I setup a test Gmail account and used those settings instead and everything worked just fine.

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